When People Sabotage You: How to Spot the Signs and Protect Your Progress

The Quiet Threat of Sabotage

You’re finally making progress. Your goals are clear, your habits are improving, and you’re feeling hopeful. But then—out of nowhere—the people around you start throwing roadblocks in your way. The worst part? It’s often the ones you love the most. How do you best deal with when people sabotage you?

Sabotage doesn’t always look like someone openly attacking your efforts. Sometimes, it’s subtle. A “harmless” suggestion to skip your workout. A box of your favorite cookies showing up at your door. A joke that cuts a little too deep.

The truth is, not everyone will cheer for your success—and some may even try to stop it.

Let’s talk about how to recognize the signs of sabotage, why people do it, and how to protect your progress.

My Story: When the Person I Loved Most Tried to Sabotage My Journey

This is personal for me. Years ago, when I was working hard to lose weight and improve my health, my first husband became one of my biggest obstacles, not my biggest supporter.

At first, I didn’t recognize it as sabotage. But looking back, the signs were clear.

I had told him directly: Please don’t bring these snacks into the house anymore. They were my favorite treats, the ones I struggled the most to resist. I was doing the hard work of setting boundaries with myself and my environment. But despite my requests, he kept bringing them home.

When I confronted him, he finally admitted why:

“I’m afraid you’ll leave me if you lose weight.”

His fear turned into sabotage. Instead of supporting my health, he chose to undermine it, because my growth felt like a threat to him.

This experience taught me an important truth:

Not everyone who loves you will know how to support your success. And sometimes, fear makes people act in ways that hurt you. Looking back, it was one of the clearest moments for me. I experienced what it feels like when people sabotage your success. They did this not out of hate, but out of fear.

Why People Sabotage Others

Sabotage usually comes from a place of insecurity, fear, or control. Here are some of the most common reasons why people might sabotage your progress:

Fear of Change: They’re comfortable with the “old” you. If you change, they may fear the relationship will change too.

Insecurity: Your progress reminds them of their own lack of progress or self-discipline.

Fear of Abandonment: They worry your success will give you the confidence to leave.

Jealousy: Instead of cheering you on, they compare themselves and feel resentful.

Control Issues: Your growth makes them feel like they’re losing influence over you.

Signs Someone Is Sabotaging You

Here are the red flags to watch for:

1. They Bring Temptations Right to Your Door

Even after you’ve clearly asked otherwise, they bring your trigger foods or the very things that derail your progress.

2. They Downplay Your Achievements

Comments like, “Don’t get too obsessed” or “One piece won’t hurt” chip away at your resolve.

3. Passive-Aggressive Jokes About Your Efforts

“Oh, I guess you’re too healthy for us now,” or “Is this your rabbit food phase?”

4. They Try to Get You to Skip Your Routine

Suggesting you miss your workout or break your schedule “just this once.”

5. They Get Irritated When You Share Your Wins

Instead of celebrating your progress, they seem annoyed or disinterested.

6. They Make Negative Comparisons

Comparing your journey to others in a way that discourages you instead of motivating you.

How to Respond to Sabotage

Recognizing sabotage is the first step. But knowing how to respond is just as important.

Communicate Clearly

Express how important your goals are and explain what support looks like for you.

Address the Root Fear

If the person is close to you, have an honest conversation about their fears. Sometimes sabotage comes from emotional wounds, not malice.

Set Firm Boundaries

If you’ve asked for certain things not to be in your space, enforce that boundary without apology.

Surround Yourself with Encouragers

Find a community of people who celebrate your growth and keep you accountable.

Know When to Limit Contact

If someone continually undermines you despite your requests, it may be time to create distance.

Conclusion: Protecting Your Progress

The hard truth is, not everyone will want you to succeed—but your success is still worth pursuing.

Your journey belongs to you. Your health, your dreams, and your peace of mind are not up for negotiation. Whether the sabotage comes from insecurity, fear, or control, you have the right to protect your progress.

Remember:

Those who truly love you will find a way to cheer for your growth, not clip your wings.

Take the Next Step: Tools, Insights, and Encouragement

When people sabotage you, you don’t have to let it slide. If you’re ready to take action, download the free printable worksheet below: How to Set Boundaries with Saboteurs. It will guide you through identifying harmful patterns, communicating your needs clearly, and protecting your progress with confidence. Whether you’re navigating a difficult relationship, or you are simply reinforcing your goals, this tool is practical. It helps to reclaim your power and peace.

I also recommend the book The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher. This insightful guide teaches you how to stay calm, clear, and in control during difficult conversations. Fisher teaches you to defuse tension. He also shows how to redirect the dialogue with emotional intelligence, whether you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive comment or a full-blown confrontation. When people sabotage your success, this book equips you with the tools to protect your peace without escalating the conflict. Pick up your copy at this link. This is a book you will want to keep on your shelf!

If you’re on a journey toward better health, explore my other articles and recipes here on Healthy in Heart. They will support wholehearted living. You’ll find encouragement for every step of your path. This includes plant-based meals and mindset shifts. It also covers emotional healing and spiritual insights.

Quitting Is Not an Option for Lasting Success(Opens in a new browser tab)

Overcoming Fear with God’s Love(Opens in a new browser tab)

Fear Not: Fear is a Liar(Opens in a new browser tab)

Deceit in Relationships: Dealing with Deceitful People(Opens in a new browser tab)

Fluid Thinking for Personal Growth and Adaptability(Opens in a new browser tab)