Let’s Talk About How to Declutter Your Heart, Mind, and Soul
We are inundated with ads that tell us we can’t live without Product A or we need Product B to be more efficient or worse to fit in with society. There are so many people who address decluttering your life, your home, etc, and I am not going to regurgitate that. However, I want to talk with you about decluttering your heart, mind and soul. We know that our homes, our closets, our drawers, our offices, our automobiles are overcrowded with things that we really don’t need, but have you ever given any thought to the clutter that you accumulate in your mind? In your heart? In your Soul? And how all this junk affects the health of your body…your self-talk…your opinion of yourself…? That is the subject that I want to talk with you about today.
You have heard the phrase “You are what you eat.” We tend to laugh this adage off, but it really is true. From the amino acids to the phytonutrients to the chemical constituents that make up the foods we consume, all of the ingredients that make up what we eat, from broccoli to the junkiest junk food, our bodies will use or recycle, if you will, to rebuild and repair the cells of our bodies. In the very literal way that the foods you consume become you, so do the things that we are exposed to on a daily basis.
I am going to go over several different things that clutter up our heart, mind, soul and body. I would like you to give some thought to the emotional, physical, and spiritual effects when you are exposed to each and every one of these things. Think about how you feel physiologically and psychologically and how what you feel? Think about how your mind digests these things that alters the way you feel and think about yourself, how you value or devalue yourself.
TOXIC INSULTS AND INSULTING ACTIONS
Think about how these words are used to devalue you and create a cancer that grows and spreads in your mind and spirit:
“You are stupid.”
“You can’t do anything right.”
“Is that all you did today?”
These are examples of direct insults that is intended as a verbal assault, usually hurled in anger. How do comments such as this affect how you feel about yourself? How many times do you need to hear this before you start internalizing it and believing it yourself? Once you start believing it yourself, then you will start repeating it to yourself. It really doesn’t take a lot if you don’t know your own value and have a strong self-efficacy and a high self-esteem. There are also people who don’t just use words to degrade you, but they will also through their actions make you feel like you are worthless. The negative effects of this on your psyche can be long term and devastating.
These types of insults come from toxic people. I have found that I need to completely remove these people from my life, because their internal composition is so toxic that it overflows onto anyone around them. Just like you would avoid eating things that cause you to break out into hives, so should you avoid being around people who spew toxicity onto you and try to make you feel worthless, because you are not worthless. You have immense value.
BACK HANDED COMPLIMENTS
What about back handed compliments? These are insults that are disguised as compliments. “You look so pretty for a big girl.” That is one I have heard a lot. “You look really pretty in that shirt, but it makes you look bigger than you are.” I know someone who is the queen of back-handed compliments. Now, you can limit your exposure to them, and this may be especially important to do until you have a solid foundation for your own self-esteem and self-efficacy. Here is one thing that you need to understand that will make it easier to let these disguised insults roll off your back without affecting you: Most people do not know how to give constructive criticism, so they disguise it as a compliment. They sandwich a suggestion with a compliment to soften the criticism. They become so used to interacting in this way that they do not even realize they are doing it or the negativity that they are perpetuating.
NEGATIVE NANCY
You’ve heard the expression: Positive people see the glass as half full. Negative people see the glass as half empty. Don’t be the person that sees the glass as half empty. Instead, be the person that see the glass as refillable. You have people in your life who are negative and complain about everything. I imagine, you just had at least one person pop into your mind. Right? I did. Sometimes, it seems that they even complain about their complaining. Complaining is such a negative thing, and unfortunately, it can be contagious. How many times have you been around someone who is complaining about something, take their spouse for example, and before you realize it you have started complaining about yours? Complaining is so bad in YAH’s eyes that HE destroyed some people in the wilderness for doing it. The problem with complaining is it become like a gangrene in your soul, it poisons your mind first about one thing, then another, then another, until you no longer see any good in anything; you only see the negative. Complaining means that you have not learned to be content and happy in whatever situation you are in or whatever obstacle you face. Remember, the glass is refillable to overflowing.
DRAMA HOUNDS
Drama Hounds….that is my nickname for the next group of people. A Drama Hound is a person who cannot survive without drama. If there is none, they will intentionally create it, because peace makes them uneasy. There is a neurological component to this, and it is a neurological and psychological addiction. Mimicking the action of opiates like heroine on the brain, drama causes the hypothalamus and pituitary gland to secrete endorphins, which we know as pain-relieving and pleasure-inducing, and like heroine, a person can develop a tolerance level and need to have an ever-increasing number of crises to fulfill their need for the endorphin high. Again, I would imagine that you have someone who popped into your mind who fits this bill. Once again, I am going to tell you if you want peace and an uncluttered mind, heart, and soul, then you need to avoid these people as much as possible. By the way, you cannot fix them.
First of all, you have to put up boundaries that you do not allow anyone to cross, EVER and THAT MEANS YOU, TOO! Don’t let anyone insult you, talk down to you, degrade you, put you down, give you insulting compliments, vomit their drama all over you, or pull you into their negative head space. Fortify those boundaries so they are immovable! Severely limit contact with people who you know do this. I really mean that! Then you need to get rid of any of YOUR negative, degrading, depreciating, and hate filled thought as it enters your mind and replace it with one that is affirming, positive, and loving. This means you have to be cognizant of your thoughts and be present in the moment so you are aware of when they cross your mind so that you can put a stop to them. That is how you declutter your heart, mind, and soul.
