The Mysterious Ways of Yah

It can be mind blowing when Yahuah steps in and shows us His mysterious ways! He has solutions to problems before we even ask. I never cease to feel humbled when Yahuah shows up and shows out on our behalf! I am amazed at the depths of His love for us and the many many ways that He demonstrates that love.

I have been wrestling for several months with what to do with the website I managed for the local church we left recently. When we made the decision that we were no longer going to go back there after the preacher got up and lambasted us in two of the last three sermons, I told the preacher I would hold the website and keep it running with just the bare-bones information, since I was no longer going to be there to get information to keep it up to date, until he could find someone willing to take it over or the church lets me know what to do with it. I also advised him that I had paid for all the costs until the first of next year, 2021, but did not specify whether I would continue to pay for it as I did not know myself at the time. In hindsight, I should have said Yah willing or until Yah does something about it Himself.

Several months have passed since I had this communication with the preacher, and I have heard nothing. He did not answer about what he or the elders who run the church wanted to do with the website: keep it bare bones, have me transfer it to someone else to admin, or take it down. Absolutely nothing was said by him other than a sad little “apology” that passed the buck avoiding accepting responsibility: “I’m sorry if I said anything to offend you.”  I’m going to write a separate article that goes into detail about how this is not an apology at all. He knows what he did, and he knows what he said and has continued to do and say since we left. He failed to own his behavior, and he failed to make a sincere apology. That is his circus and his monkey, though, not mine.

Meanwhile, I am learning that my family is still heavily featured as targets for his “sermons.” I do not care what his opinion is of what Yah has shown us and the path Yah is leading us along. We answer to Yahuah, not to man. What truly has been an increasing burden to my heart is that in the 8 months or so that the website has been live, it has already led one family to that church; I do not want to be responsible for leading more people and families there through the work of my hands to potentially be a target for abuse from the pulpit. To say that prospect weighs heavily on my heart would be an understatement of epic proportions. I prayed and prayed about it but seemed to get no answer. The church members and leaders seem to have no more concern about what happens to the website than the preacher did.

But Yah stepped in. Who knows that Yah’s timing is always right?

I was not prepared for what Yah was preparing to do the day before Yom Kippurim, the Day of Atonements which started at sundown Sunday, September 27, 2020. I just want to add in here that I believe there is a message in here about the day in which Yah chose to do this.

The preacher takes to the pulpit at 11:30 AM. He would, as I was later to learn, once again target us in his “sermon.” I really don’t know why he continues to do this, seeing as we are not present and do not listen to his podcasts anymore, even though I do understand the behaviors and their motivations which are typically displayed in different social parameters. It was a wasted effort…except to continue to show his current parishioners his true nature. It also continued to highlight why my heart was heavy about keeping the website up and potentially leading others to similar abuse from the pulpit. I truly pray that the preacher will let it go, and make his heart right before Yah, whether he truly repents to us for what he has done or not.

 Knowing Yah’s timing of things, I also wonder if something was said from the pulpit about us that would coincide with the moment the websites went down. Things that make you go….hmmm….. I am not, however, curious enough to listen to the podcast to find out. Again, that is not my circus and not my monkeys.

At approximately 11:45 AM I got two emails informing me that both sites were down. I go online to the Host platform, and nothing I try is successful at restoring Healthy in Heart, which was my primary concern. I am not an expert by any means with website creation and maintenance. I have never claimed to be. I am thankful that many of the things you can do are made extremely easy by the Host and through widgets and plugins.

When nothing I did was successful, I called the experts that Host my site. They took my backup, scanned it for viruses and malware. They worked for hours, and the best they could do is get the website to come up as a white screen, which apparently means the site is being read, but it was not rendering.

Is this the same dreaded “white screen of death” that happens when the I-phone dies? It definitely felt like it.

There was a fatal error somewhere, but even the experts could not find it. If they couldn’t find and fix it, then I had NO hope of doing so. Who am I? What do I know? This is the email they sent me, lightly edited for security reasons:

I changed my theme twice, and neither theme helped the situation. I still had the “white screen of death.” For some reason, I did not believe it was a problem with the theme. I also noted they said there was an issue with the Host plugin that they could not fix.

UmHmm….Interesting……

I decided I was just going to have to wait until Tuesday to explore and see if I could get help elsewhere. Until then, I just had to wait it out.

It’s pretty bad when they cannot restore the website from a backup. A year’s worth of work was gone in an instant. I was devastated. I had been praying about what to do with the church website, and now it was gone, but so was mine. I had already emotionally disconnected from the church website, so I was not bothered that it was gone, even though the majority of my time, energy, and effort of the last year had gone into working on it instead of this one. Actually, I was relieved because the solution to what to do with the website problem was taken out of my hands.

I was heartbroken that all the work I had put into my website was also gone like a breath of air. I started crying, and immediately went into my “prayer closet” to talk to Yah about it, to pour my heart out to Him. When I came out, it was with a calm stillness, a knowing that however this turns out, it is all going to be okay. My heart was comforted. I had come to terms that if Yah did not want me to have this website, then it was not His will. I had to ask myself difficult questions, including: was this website about Him or about me? I delayed so long in starting it, I knew it wasn’t about me. I had not wanted the extra work, and I did not know if I even had the time. We are so good at coming up with excuses, aren’t we?

Nevertheless, if He was done with it, then His will, whatever that was, had been accomplished already. Though I had become emotionally attached to this website, it is not my platform, it is His. His will is more important than mine, because he can see the big picture while I only see a tiny pixel. When I came out of my “prayer closet,” my tears had dried up. I had accepted that perhaps Yah just did not want me to have a website, and I said something to this effect to my husband.

But Yah stepped in again….

No sooner had those words vacated my lips than I heard that small still voice whisper to my mind: delete the website entirely and start a new one using the same domain, and upload the backup to the new one. What? It was ten minutes before sundown would signal the start of the Holy Day of Atonement, a Shabbat in which no work is to be done.

What?? I’m not going to have time to do that today. Have you ever heard of a solution so simple that you think it cannot possibly work, because it is so simple? If the solution was that simple, why didn’t the “experts” think of that or even suggest that during the hours I was on the phone with them today or in their “I give up and I’m passing the buck” email? I certainly could not have thought of doing that. It cannot possibly be that easy when the experts could not even figure out what to do.

Can it?

I said, “Okay, Yahuah, I’ll do it,” as I jumped up off the sofa and walked over to the computer.

My husband asked, “What’s wrong? What are you doing?”

I told him, “That still small voice told me to do something. I don’t know if it will work, but I know I don’t like the consequences when I don’t listen and obey immediately.”

Yah has been working with me a lot lately about listening for that still small voice and more importantly, obeying it exactly when I hear it. I did not hesitate, I did exactly what that still small voice whispered to my mind. I deleted the entire website ‘Healthy in Heart’ and started a new one with the same domain, then uploaded the backup. As simple as it was……..and……….

IT WORKED!

IT WORKED!

DID I MENTION IT WORKED?

I have found that Yah loves to step in when all else has failed. Isn’t that true? Isn’t that what you find to be His way as well?  I was reminded of the scripture in II Chronicles 16:9a (Cepher)

“For the eyes of YAHUAH run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…”

This website, everything on it, all the articles, even the most recent ones, the photos, not a single thing was out of place, incorrect, or showing a white screen. Not a single thing was lost. Everything was exactly the way it was before any of this had happened, and this website was fixed 100% before sundown! That initiated a fresh round of crying mingled with praise and worship to Yah! How great is our God??!!!!!  

Hallelu-Yah!!!!

Alas, the church website was gone, and I cannot with any honesty say that I am sorry. I have no desire to bother with it again. I believe this is why Yah allowed them both to crash at the same time…..not to mention the church backup was no where to be found either in the Cloud or in my external hard drive. Yah slammed that door shut! Not only did Yah let me know that my work on that church website was done, in no uncertain terms, but He also let me know that He is not done with this one.

I have no desire to make money from this website or have any type of gain. I do hope that Yah will use this website to reach others with support, encouragement, and hope. It is very comforting to know you are not walking alone and that others understand what your struggles are. I knew that if we were going through this type of backlash with leaving the church, then others would be as well. I have no vision for this website beyond the giving of support and inspiration to others, but intuitively, I believe that Yah has a vision and a plan for what His will is and in what He wants accomplished through this website.

I don’t know His will, but I look forward to Him revealing it. I only need to remember that I am simply His humble messenger.