Striving with others
Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm. Proverbs 3:30 KJV
This is an interesting verse. It provides that there are two conditions on striving with another person 1) without cause or uselessly and 2) if he has not harmed you.
The Hebrew word used for striving here is tā·rîḇ. Tā·rîḇ it is a verb, an action word, that literally means to rub, which makes me think of friction. It’s a visual representation of the resistance of one surface and the conflict and animosity it creates as it moves against another surface. Rub your hands together briskly for a minute. You will notice three things: it produces heat, it becomes uncomfortable, and it fatigues you. If you rub two sticks together vigorously enough and long enough you will start a fire, and the funny thing about a fire is that it can be either extremely destructive or cleansing and renewing.
When there is friction between people they fight, argue, and quarrel with one another. There is no harmony; there is no peace. What we are instructed here is to not fight, argue, or quarrel with someone without reason…without the other person having harmed you first.
A scripture in the Bible that goes along with this one is Romans 12:18 “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” Verse 19 goes a little further. It tells us, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Don’t wrench things out of God’s hands. If you take revenge yourself, you take it out of God’s hands. You are saying, “I don’t trust you to take care of this situation.”
One lesson that has painfully been ground into me over the last few years is that no matter how much peace resides in you, if the other person who is rubbing you and creating friction that you don’t desire… if that other person has no peace, it is not possible to live peaceably with that person. In understanding that scripture, I am really glad Apostle Paul threw in the phrase “if it be possible.”
In the case where someone is striving against you without cause and has no peace themselves, they will not allow you to have any peace, and you must defend yourself. I’m not saying take a baton and lure them into a dark alley. I’m not saying take matters into your own hands physically or to seek vengeance. God will be your defender and shield (Psalms 18:2)! Of course, that doesn’t mean, as the old saying goes, that you sit on your fist and rare back on your thumb in leisure either. God does not reward laziness. God requires you to be active in your defense as well. What do I mean? I am saying seek God’s face with your whole heart. Always pray first. Always take it to God first. Sometimes you may have to humble yourself with fasting and prayer, but I promise you that God will answer.
Maybe you’re saying, “Wait, wait, wait….what about what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5 about turning the other cheek?” Let’s look at those verses: 38-48.
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Jesus is teaching his disciples about relationship. In verse 38 and 39, he’s not telling us to be someone’s whipping post. God doesn’t want us to be abused, but he’s telling us if we are struck, if we are knocked down, don’t strike back, don’t take revenge into our own hands. Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is remove ourselves from the equation, but if you can’t….
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
In verse 40 a couple words could have been translated better. The original word for coat is chitón which a tunic or the modern day equivalent of a shirt. The original word for cloak is himation which was an outer garment or the modern day equivalent of a jacket. He’s saying if someone sues you for your shirt give him your coat, too. These are things. They are minor material possessions. They are replaceable. Jesus assures us throughout the New Testament that God will clothe us, and he will provide for all our needs. So don’t get hung up on the small insignificant things. In verse 41, if someone forces you to walk a mile with them, go two: go that extra mile. Verse 42 if someone asks you for something give it to them or if someone wants to borrow something don’t tell them no and send them on their way.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Man, is verse 44 hard to do or what? Again, these scriptures talk to the relationship between you and other people, whether friend or enemy. We are called to walk and talk as children of God, and not to talk and act like world. It addresses what is valued by God. God cares about people over things, and God wants us to prioritize people over things. God wants us to prioritize relationships over possessions. God wants us to live out the example.
In my reading the past few weeks, one thing that has become glaringly obvious is that God never intervened in the lives of the Children of Israel (or in ours) without them (or us) first asking him to intervene. Just look at what Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
We have to take action first. We have to invite God into our situation so he can intervene on our behalf. We have to ask God for his help before he will move. If we don’t, God waits patiently for us to do so. If God were to just jump in, uninvited, and move things around in our lives like a game of chess, we would not have free will, and that would also mean that God would have violated his own Word. He will never do that.
As we just read in Mathew chapter 5 verse 45, God makes the sun to rise on evil and on good, and he gives rain to the just and the unjust. When people say, “There can’t be a God, because the world is so evil.” Or “A good God would not allow death, destruction, abuse, murder, etc.” Or “A good God would not let bad things happen to good people.” That is flawed thinking. That is the enemy planting doubts about the very nature of God. The truth is that the Earth is so evil because man rebels against, rejects God and doesn’t seek Him FIRST. God is so GOOD that he won’t break his word. God is faithful, and God’s Word is faithful. He will not break His Word to interfere in our lives unless we first ask Him to.
One verse I ran across in my reading recently that really struck my heart with such tremendous force is 2 Chronicles 16:9a “ For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.” The word used for perfect right there is šā·lêm, which means complete, safe, at peace. If your heart is complete, safe, and at peace toward God, God searches for ways to show up and show out FOR YOU… to show Himself strong FOR YOU. Doesn’t that scripture make you feel so loved, so protected, so secure and so peaceful? That scripture just leaves me overwhelmed! I can only express my wonder, admiration, and respect of who God is with a praise of “What an awesome GOD is Elohim, my Jehovah Ra’ah (The Lord my Shepherd, my Keeper Psalms 23:1)!”
Challenge: How can we spread Love and Hope this week? We are image bearers or mirrors, we were created to bear God’s image, but whatever we are facing, whatever or whoever we are looking at and looking to is what we will reflect. So, whenever someone is striving against you, “rubbing you the wrong way,” turn toward God first, humble yourself, and pray, and stand back and watch as God shows himself strong on your behalf! Then give God the glory and praise and honor! Testify to someone today about something that God has shown himself strong on your behalf. Psalms 22:3 tells us that God inhabits the praises of his people. We could never give Him the praise that he deserves, but let us try! Let us try!
