Abusive Church Leadership: A Silent Crisis

I recently spoke with a woman who helps care for my mother-in-law. Our conversation turned to how pastors, teachers, and church leaders often abuse their authority. She shared a painful experience of being condemned by her pastor in front of the entire congregation—simply for something her adult child had done. This was not an isolated incident. She told me there were many times she and others in the church had suffered from abusive church leadership.

If you are suffering under abusive church leadership, you are not alone. You do not have to remain in that toxic environment. Abuse exists in all professions, and the church is no exception. Many are drawn to ministry because of the power it provides over others. However, true leadership should reflect YHVH’s ways, not human control and manipulation.

Spiritual Abuse Is Still Abuse

Verbal, emotional, and mental abuse from a spiritual leader is just as damaging as any other form of mistreatment. In some ways, it is worse. An abusive spouse harms the body and mind, but a spiritual abuser targets the soul. I repeatedly told my youngest sister before her tragic death after a severe beating, “You do not have to stay.” I say the same to anyone suffering under abusive church leadership. YHVH does not want you trapped in that.

Would Yeshua Approve?

Imagine Yeshua watching as one of His disciples attacks the very people they should protect. I envision Him reacting much like when He drove the money changers from the Temple.

A spiritual leader’s job is not to judge and condemn. Yet, many use their sermons to belittle congregants, mock beliefs, and push personal agendas instead of teaching truth.

The Warning Signs Were Clear

Looking back, I should have seen the warning signs. This pastor used sermons to:

• Rant about political events.
• Criticize others for drinking alcohol while endorsing books supporting an old-earth viewpoint.
• Mock those who believe what the Bible, science, and their senses tell them about creation.
• Attack anyone reading a Bible translation other than the KJV.
• Dismiss biblical interpretations different from his own with sarcasm and contempt.

Instead of addressing sin, he attacked people. That is an ad hominem fallacy—an argument based on personal attack rather than truth. You cannot win hearts through condemnation.

Hold Your Peace, Stand Firm

When my family was publicly attacked from the pulpit, YHVH whispered to my heart, “Hold your peace.” I initially thought it meant staying silent. But in Exodus 14:14, where this phrase appears, it actually means to dig in and stay firm. The Israelites, trapped between Pharaoh’s army and the sea, were told:

“The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” (Exodus 14:14)

YHVH tells us to ignore the cries of the enemy, resist the urge to return to old ways, and stand firm in faith. When faced with abusive church leadership, do not engage in their game. Instead, trust YHVH.

Why We Chose to Walk Away

We could have retaliated. We could have spread the truth about this pastor’s behavior. Instead, we wrote him a letter explaining why we were leaving. We chose to let YHVH handle him.

David refused to harm King Saul, even though Saul sought to kill him. Why? Because Saul was once anointed by YHVH. That same principle applied here. If this pastor was ever truly called, then YHVH would be the one to deal with him.

A Minister’s True Role

Deuteronomy 20:1-4 outlines a minister’s purpose:

• Encourage believers not to fear.
• Remind them of YHVH’s past faithfulness.
• Help them see beyond the immediate battle.

A true minister lifts people up, not tears them down. Many modern leaders have strayed, prioritizing power, greed, and control over serving YHVH’s people. Yeshua showed us true leadership by serving others (John 13).

The Heart Matters More Than Perfection

YHVH never expected perfection, only a willing heart:

“To humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.” (Deuteronomy 8:2)

Those who twist YHVH’s law to fit their desires prove they have no heart for obedience. Rationalizing sin does not fool YHVH. You may deceive people, but never Him.

A Warning to Abusive Leaders

Nothing angers my spirit more than pastors who teach rebellion. They condemn those who desire to obey YHVH, all while preaching lawlessness. Yeshua warned against this:

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men.” (Matthew 23:13)

How dare these leaders try to block others from following YHVH? Their judgment will come.

Who Do You Serve?

Ministers should guide people toward YHVH, not control them. The Bible repeatedly commands obedience to YHVH’s law. Keeping His commandments is not hard or burdensome. It is an act of love.

So, I leave you with this question: YHVH does not want to spend eternity with a rebellious people. Would you?

If you are under abusive church leadership, seek YHVH’s guidance. You do not have to stay. Trust in Him, stand firm, and walk in obedience. YHVH will fight for you.

Recommended Tools for Your Spiritual and Health Journey

If you are searching for an assembly where questioning anything the Bible does not result in abuse, I encourage you to check out Ross K Nichols’ Youtube. He also has an after-class discussion that you can get in on if you are a subscriber. If you are not a subscriber, you can still watch an hour of the after-class discussion on this Youtube channel: Horeb

If you’re serious about nourishing your body and soul, consider investing in a quality grain mill and bread machine. Freshly milled grain makes a huge difference in homemade bread! Check out my top picks on Amazon:

• Best Mixer: Kitchen Aid Mixer
• Best Grain Mills: Mockmill grain mill , Kitchen Aid Grain Mill Attachment , WONDERMILL Manual Hand Grain Mill
• Best Bread Machine: Zojirushi bread machine
• Best Dehydrators: Commercial Large 10 Trays Food Dehydrator, COSORI Food Dehydrator for Jerky, Magic Mill Pro Food Dehydrator Machine , Excalibur Electric Food Dehydrator, Excalibur EXC10EL Electric Food Dehydrator
• Best Blender: Vitamix 5200 Blender

Also, don’t forget to browse my other articles and recipes for more inspiration on healthy living and spiritual growth!

How to Make Whole Wheat Bread in a Bread Machine(Opens in a new browser tab)

Bug-Free Grains: How to Keep Your Bulk Grains Safe and Sound(Opens in a new browser tab)

Grains in Bulk: Healthier, Cheaper, and Sustainable(Opens in a new

The Mysterious Ways of the Most High(Opens in a new browser tab)

Anointed Appointed: Beware of Cult Behavior in Religious Groups(Opens in a new browser tab)

The Power of Words: Healing Through Faith(Opens in a new browser tab)