I love the two words “But God,” because when God intervenes, all hell can come against you and not stop the blessings and the purpose for which God has put you on the earth. I love how God uses real life to illustrate important concepts: like the process he uses to turn victim to victor, injured to comforter.
Today is my husband’s birthday. Happy Birthday, TK! He hates his birthday, and he always has. I just never understood why he would hate his birthday when most other people love to celebrate the date of their birth. He never understood either, until now…. We don’t have to wonder any more. My mother-in-law (who moved in with us three years ago when she could no longer care for herself) solved that mystery a few minutes ago.
She asked me this morning what kind of mood my husband was in this morning, because she had gotten him a birthday card. Did I mention he hates his birthday? I told her he was in a good mood this morning when he left for work. She laughed and then proceeded to give me all the explanation I would ever need for why my husband does not like his birthday.
She said, “You know when he was little I would always wake him up with a scream on his birthday.”
I looked at her, I’m sure my face showed shock, disgust, and horror, and I said, “That is really demented.”
In my head, I was thinking, “Good Lord, who does that???? That is psychotic.”
She said, “I read an article in Reader’s Digest about a woman who did that, and that’s where I got the idea.” A case of monkey see, monkey do?
“Well, there’s no wonder he doesn’t like his birthday,” I said, matter of factly. I continued with the task I was in the middle of, which was taking out the trash. I walked the can to the curb for pick up tomorrow.
When I walked back into the kitchen, she said, “Well, I thought it was cute. I stopped doing it when he went to school.” Hmmm, I wondered, was she afraid social services would find out? I guess she didn’t like that I was not amused by her antics, she defensively added, “He used to laugh at it.”
Right! Sorry, a little sarcasm escaped there.
I just continued with my chores and took the fruit and vegetable scraps out to our compost. When I returned, she then got a very serious expression on her face…. As if, she was about to impart the deepest darkest secret to life, and she said, “You do know, he almost killed me when he was born. That’s back when they put you to sleep during child birth.”
I said, “Huh, they never put my mother to sleep during any of her births. It is still very demented and traumatizing to scream at a child on their birthday.”
I mean, seriously, WHO DOES THAT???? Who intentionally traumatizes a child on their birthday? Why would someone want to emulate something so deranged that they had read in a ridiculous magazine article?
Oh, but yes, she explained that, too, by the specific words she chose to use to offer an excuse for why she did it. You see, like a typical narcissist, she never takes responsibility for her actions, but always thinks of an excuse for why it wasn’t her fault, and why the blame should rest securely on the shoulders of someone, anyone else, whether it’s plausible or not. Still, I am quite sure she did not intend to disclose the real reason for her actions.
Note, that she did not say, “I almost died in childbirth.”
No, she said, “He almost killed me when he was born.”
It is illogical to believe that it was her newborn baby’s fault that she had a difficult childbirth and almost hemorrhaged to death. But there it is. There are many times that we humans do not think rationally and logically. Am I right? Add in a dose or two of mental illness and you’re in for an illogical roller coaster ride.
It makes me wonder, though, if that is the root source of the animosity that she exhibits toward my husband and the passive aggressive way she has treated him his whole life. I can’t determine whether it has worsened as she is forced to depend on him through her old age and infirmities or if she just has more opportunity for it to come out since she has moved in with us. Maybe it is both.
One thing is certain, you will always reap what you sow. It reminds me of what Joseph said after his father sent his brothers to Egypt, to buy food during the famine in Egypt many years after they had sold their younger brother into slavery.
Joseph said in Genesis 50:20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
All those years in slavery, in prison, betrayed by his own family, Joseph could have allowed the anger and bitterness to build up in him, but he didn’t. He forgave. He trusted God. His heart was not hardened towards his brothers who had wanted to kill him as a child.
Joseph then said, Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them. (Genesis 50:21)
Wow! Isn’t that just like God? The injured became the comforter. BUT GOD…I love when God steps in and changes things. God molded the injured into the comforter. It makes me wonder if this is not a similar thing that God is doing for my husband. You see we are followers of Christ, and we are not victims; God has made us victors.
But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (I Corinthians 15:57)
What the enemy uses to try to destroy you, God turns around and uses it to strengthen you and to make you grow; to position you, so that you can be a vessel that He can use. He changes your position as victim into victor. Don’t let what someone does to you turn you into a victim, don’t let it change who you are inside. Hold tight to what is right, be righteousness, be victorious, and let God fight the battle for you.
I am reminded of the verse in Psalms 23, that beloved Psalm, verse 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
God will prepare a table for you. God will anoint your head with oil. God will fill your cup to overflowing right in the very presence of those who wish you ill, who despise you without cause. But God…when God intervenes, the enemy can’t do a thing to harm you, because what they intend for evil God will use to bless you. Can I get an amen?
Don’t forget who you are, but most importantly, don’t forget whose you are.
